A classic Slappy the Squirrel episode from The Animaniacs…one of my favorite shows as a child.

Holy crap…I gotta get these DVDs.

I’ve never heard of a Tom Swifty, but I like it. It’s hard to describe these clever little puns without just going into an example.

“I manufacture table tops,” said Tom counterproductively.

Table top = counter, manufacture = productive…get it? The New York Times is running a competition this weekend to find the best, most witty Tom Swifty. Can you top my entry:

“Who knew a billboard in a bog could be so beautiful?” he asked admiringly.

On June 3rd I will have worked six months in a consulting job that daily puts me in situations straight out of a script from The Office. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a challenging gig and I’m learning a lot, but sometimes the bureaucracy and office politics overshadows the actual work. It’s often challenging to point out something concrete that I’ve accomplished in a given day. I came across an article in the New York Times today that addresses my problem quite nicely. The article, in turn, quoted from a poem — “To Be of Use” by Marge Piercy.

The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half-submerged balls.

I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.

I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.

The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.

While I doubt I’ll be trading in my keyboard for a sledgehammer anytime soon, it is gratifying to see these murky thoughts of mine so eloquently transformed into words.

It’s hard to describe the depths of my man crush on Justin Timberlake. What I wouldn’t give to be him…he’s got nimble dance moves, a hot girlfriend (Jessica Biel at the moment), and can sing that baby-making falsetto. In his spare time he trips on over to 30 Rock in New York to appear on SNL skits (just about every week lately). And why the hell not…he’s great in the live comedy medium.
JT is just one of the reasons why SNL has been getting a lot better in the past few months. I thought it could never return to the glory days of Will Ferrell (when I watched religiously) but I think the likes of Kristin Wiig, Adam Samberg, and Bill Hader create a good comedy core. Now if SNL can just get political satire right they’d have a complete show. I’m still waiting on a good opening sketch in 2009. Nevertheless, the latest episode was great with Justin Timberlake hosting. If you missed it, head over to hulu.com and catch up…you’ll thank me.

Definition: adj. contrary to or different from an acknowledged standard, a traditional form, or an established religion : unorthodox, unconventional

Etymology: Late Latin heterodoxus, from Greek heterodoxos, from heter- + doxa opinion

Quotation: “In class and in conversation, Mr. Obama talked about judges all the time, but in heterodox terms that gave no clear sense of whose work he most prized.”
- from Sunday’s New York Time article “As a Professor, Obama Held Pragmatic Views on Court”

When you’re feeling a little uppity and want to use a fancier version of “unorthodox” in a sentence, turn to “heterodox”. Lord knows I will.

The blogoweb is always providing some new diversion or entertainment and Twitter is no exception. Alright, Twitter’s not exactly new — at least not by speed-of-light web standards — but it’s new to me and I’ve noticed a number of my friends starting to pick up on the craze. Basically it’s like a website devoted to Facebook status updates. But there’s something about the minimalist nature that intrigues me. You aren’t allowed the vast cornucopia of games, posts, videos, and pictures available on Facebook…it all gets boiled down to 140 characters or less. Some, like Shaquille O’Neal, thrive in the short and sweet status world of Twitteronia. Others, like his teammate Steve Nash, either have nothing interesting to say or can’t say it simply. Indulge me in further comparison…

realstevenash: Sorry I havent updated very much lately….
realstevenash: Extremely bored.

Who wants to read that? Whereas…

THE_REAL_SHAQ: http://twitpic.com/25wxw
THE_REAL_SHAQ: Any twitterers on scottsdale and lincoln I’m here tag me for a prize u got ten minutes ps I’m sittin on the hilton sign 9 min left

Here you have a little comic relief and actual interaction with other twitterers. There was a sweet blog post from a while back that JB turned me on to about Shaq reaching out to some nervous fanboys. The guy lives to entertain.
I’ve been slowly working my way into the twitscape. Hopefully I’ll have a nice little Twitter widget to add to the sidebar of this here website. At least it will make for a little bit of fresh content on an otherwise thoroughly stale page.

2009 has been kind to me thus far. After a bit of a rocky start I managed to stumble into a sweet job (Consultant at Cardinal Solutions Group) which frees my mind to concentrate on more important things…like barbecue. Before I moved down to C-town, I remember JB telling me about the Great Burger Tour of 2008. Our group of friends would pick a new burger joint and get together for lunch there every week. After a thorough combing of Charlotte’s finest establishments, the only conclusive result was this: Bar-B-Q King has the worst burgers in Charlotte. Oh well.
In 2009 we’re going to do things right. I proposed another Tour, except this time with barbecue. There are plenty of candidates throughout the greater Charlotte area and we intend to hit up most of them. Our current Quest results stand thusly:

Week 1: Bubba’s BBQ (4400 Sunset Rd)

• Q: pretty decent, a little dry as I recall, decent sauce (ketchup/vinegar combo base)
• Fixins: no Brunswick stew (-1); hushpuppies decent
• Other: quick service; nice staff

Week 2: Art’s Barbecue and Deli (900 E Morehead St)

• Q: bad, almost as bad as the crap you get at a baseball game or a school cafeteria (sorry Short); sauce already on the Q was dreck and the stuff on the table did little to cover it up
• Fixins: decent selection, don’t think they had Brunswick stew though (-1); hushpuppies decent
• Other: sweet location and quick service

Week 3: Elliot’s BBQ (Windsor Square Shopping Center, Matthews)

• Q: Outstanding, especially considering the fact that this place is in a strip mall. There are 4 different sauces to choose from and the Hot Vinegar is the stuff!
• Fixins: good selection, and they have Brunswick stew (!) although it was a little watery for my taste
• Other: If you mentioned a TV ad then you got buy one, get one free on any BBQ plate. How can you beat that? The atmosphere was probably the one drawback to this place…Short compared the ambiance to that of a library.

Week 4: Old Hickory House (6538 N Tryon St)

• Q: Very good. Unfortunately I made the rookie mistake of ordering a barbecue sandwich instead of a plate so I’m factoring in other people’s opinions here as well. The sauce was delicious, but I prefer a little more spice and/or vinegar
• Fixins: Brunswick stew = A+; Hush puppies = A (awesome texture, but too sweet for me)
• Other: The atmosphere at Old hickory House cannot go unmentioned in any review. You walk in and immediately notice how dark and smokey it is. Part of that comes from the unsegregated smoking section and part is from the exposed brick wood-fired grill right out in the open dining room. This is a rarity and actually technically illegal (according to Short). Since the restaurant was built before the legislation, though, it got grandfathered in. Long live Old Hickory House!!

Future updates to come.

Definition: adj. 1. devoted to or marked by pleasure and luxury.

Etymology: refers to the celebrated ancient Greek city of Sybaris

Quotation: “The front-drive A4 starts at just $31,525. But a stripper Audi without all-wheel-drive is like vegan bratwurst minus the mustard. In a car so focused on sybaritic style, skipping the good stuff seems beside the point.”
- from a New York Times review of the new Audi A4

Having recently secured a new job I can realistically start thinking about replacing my aging Acura. I doubt I’ll be able to afford the new A4 anytime soon, but it can’t hurt to dream.

I try to keep my expectations for this site humble. With an average of 20 hits a day, I don’t exactly occupy a bully pulpit. One somewhat unique feature that I’ve enjoyed cultivating is the Word of the Day. If I come across a word that interests me I present its definition along with a picture and some other tasty tidbits. Unfortunately, I have stumbled onto a site that one-ups (if not two- or three-ups) mine: Illustrated Thesaurus. My only consolation is that the author seems to have given up at “able” way back in 2006.

The New York Times Magazine has a column called The Medium where various topics dealing with the confluence of television and the Internet are discussed. This week’s edition I found particularly interesting: Confessions of a TED Addict. Every year, great (or famous, or both) thinkers gather at the TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) Conference to give talks on their areas of expertise. The kind folks at ted.com have filmed these talks and provided them free of charge on their site. I was particularly attracted to Kary Mullis’s speech. In my formative years, I was given a copy of his book, Dancing Naked in the Mind Field, an entertaining autobiography of the Nobel Prize-winning chemist. Among other things, he discusses his distaste for the theory of global warming. Back in 2000 (when it was published) global warming wasn’t quite as divisive an issue as it has become today which is why his speech (which diverts to global warming toward the end) is especially interesting. Enjoy.