We need an improveverywhere cell in Charlotte.

Definition: noun one who eats foods grown locally whenever possible

Etymology: local + -vore (as in carnivore)

Quotation: “While he is steeped in all matters locavore and was a moving force behind the White House garden, Mr. Kass has no formal culinary training and has never run a restaurant or hotel kitchen.”
- from a New York Times article about the White House’s young, politically motivated chef

These days with the wonders of DVR I find myself captivated by Iron Chef America. The kitschy theatrics are all good and well (and not half as bad as the original Iron Chef), but I’m genuinely entertained by watching master chefs do their thing. Add to that the helpful commentary from my boy Alton Brown and you have a genuine learning experience…something any self-respecting nerd can’t resist. Unfortunately, I’ve never come across this word on the show. Thankfully, there is the trusty standby NYTimes.com to fill in the knowledge gap.

I’m not really sure what drew me to an article whose headline read “No Apologies From the Boss of a No-Frills Airline“. In any case, I’m glad I read it because it led me to the above youtube clip. This guy (the CEO of a super low-fare airline based in Ireland) is talking about expanding to trans-Atlantic flights and moving to a two-tier pricing system: economy and business class. The rest is just funny.

This weekend I consumed some rather disturbing media. The Saturday New York Times ran a story about the looming robot apocalypse. Below the first photo in the article is the caption: “This personal robot plugs itself in when it needs a charge. Servant now, master later?” This is the stuff of conspiracy theories. The story itself is interesting and thought-provoking, but you just can’t help getting goosebumps thinking about a real-life, modern-day Terminator scenario.
Secondly, I listened to a This American Life podcast distributed by NPR. The show from 7/10/09 featured a story about a man who committed a crime and, when faced with 5-7 years of prison time, started looking for alternatives. Inmates at the prison suggested he pass himself off as a lunatic and thus get moved to a cushy psychiatric ward. The man, Tony, mimicked scenes from various psycho-thriller movies (Clockwork Orange, Blue Velvet) to the desired effect. What he didn’t anticipate was how difficult it would be to get out of an insane asylum. He was assigned to the Broadmoor asylum, a place for the worst psychologically ill offenders in all of England. When he tried to convince doctors that he was actually perfectly sane and had only pretended to be mentally unstable they just took that as a sign that he was really ill. Apart from the story itself, there’s something very creepy about the guy on the radio telling the story. I’m sure it was unintended, but he sounds eerily similar to Old Gregg.

A classic Slappy the Squirrel episode from The Animaniacs…one of my favorite shows as a child.

Holy crap…I gotta get these DVDs.

I’ve never heard of a Tom Swifty, but I like it. It’s hard to describe these clever little puns without just going into an example.

“I manufacture table tops,” said Tom counterproductively.

Table top = counter, manufacture = productive…get it? The New York Times is running a competition this weekend to find the best, most witty Tom Swifty. Can you top my entry:

“Who knew a billboard in a bog could be so beautiful?” he asked admiringly.

On June 3rd I will have worked six months in a consulting job that daily puts me in situations straight out of a script from The Office. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a challenging gig and I’m learning a lot, but sometimes the bureaucracy and office politics overshadows the actual work. It’s often challenging to point out something concrete that I’ve accomplished in a given day. I came across an article in the New York Times today that addresses my problem quite nicely. The article, in turn, quoted from a poem — “To Be of Use” by Marge Piercy.

The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half-submerged balls.

I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.

I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.

The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.

While I doubt I’ll be trading in my keyboard for a sledgehammer anytime soon, it is gratifying to see these murky thoughts of mine so eloquently transformed into words.

It’s hard to describe the depths of my man crush on Justin Timberlake. What I wouldn’t give to be him…he’s got nimble dance moves, a hot girlfriend (Jessica Biel at the moment), and can sing that baby-making falsetto. In his spare time he trips on over to 30 Rock in New York to appear on SNL skits (just about every week lately). And why the hell not…he’s great in the live comedy medium.
JT is just one of the reasons why SNL has been getting a lot better in the past few months. I thought it could never return to the glory days of Will Ferrell (when I watched religiously) but I think the likes of Kristin Wiig, Adam Samberg, and Bill Hader create a good comedy core. Now if SNL can just get political satire right they’d have a complete show. I’m still waiting on a good opening sketch in 2009. Nevertheless, the latest episode was great with Justin Timberlake hosting. If you missed it, head over to hulu.com and catch up…you’ll thank me.

Definition: adj. contrary to or different from an acknowledged standard, a traditional form, or an established religion : unorthodox, unconventional

Etymology: Late Latin heterodoxus, from Greek heterodoxos, from heter- + doxa opinion

Quotation: “In class and in conversation, Mr. Obama talked about judges all the time, but in heterodox terms that gave no clear sense of whose work he most prized.”
- from Sunday’s New York Time article “As a Professor, Obama Held Pragmatic Views on Court”

When you’re feeling a little uppity and want to use a fancier version of “unorthodox” in a sentence, turn to “heterodox”. Lord knows I will.

The blogoweb is always providing some new diversion or entertainment and Twitter is no exception. Alright, Twitter’s not exactly new — at least not by speed-of-light web standards — but it’s new to me and I’ve noticed a number of my friends starting to pick up on the craze. Basically it’s like a website devoted to Facebook status updates. But there’s something about the minimalist nature that intrigues me. You aren’t allowed the vast cornucopia of games, posts, videos, and pictures available on Facebook…it all gets boiled down to 140 characters or less. Some, like Shaquille O’Neal, thrive in the short and sweet status world of Twitteronia. Others, like his teammate Steve Nash, either have nothing interesting to say or can’t say it simply. Indulge me in further comparison…

realstevenash: Sorry I havent updated very much lately….
realstevenash: Extremely bored.

Who wants to read that? Whereas…

THE_REAL_SHAQ: http://twitpic.com/25wxw
THE_REAL_SHAQ: Any twitterers on scottsdale and lincoln I’m here tag me for a prize u got ten minutes ps I’m sittin on the hilton sign 9 min left

Here you have a little comic relief and actual interaction with other twitterers. There was a sweet blog post from a while back that JB turned me on to about Shaq reaching out to some nervous fanboys. The guy lives to entertain.
I’ve been slowly working my way into the twitscape. Hopefully I’ll have a nice little Twitter widget to add to the sidebar of this here website. At least it will make for a little bit of fresh content on an otherwise thoroughly stale page.