I didn’t really understand what Mike McD was talking about when I first saw Swingers at age 18 (I pine for those salad days of yore). Back then, my taste in alcohol didn’t get much more sophisticated than the occasional Milwaukee’s Best (”don’t mess around with that Ice crap, Beast is the original and best”). But Mike’s desperate attempt to seem classy, and my own sojourns into the realm of fine malted beverages, has brought this question to the fore: What’s the difference between whiskey, scotch, and bourbon? Whiskey seems to encompass all drinks of the type, and scotch connotes a more refined (and usually more expensive) drink, but that’s about the extent of my knowledge on the subject…until now.
First of all, we must get the spelling right. If you look up “whiskey” on Wikipedia you get redirected to the page for “whisky”. Funny that, as I almost never see it spelled that way on an actual bottle of the stuff. But according to a 1968 directive from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, “whisky” is the official U.S. spelling. They merely “allow” certain distilleries to preserve the “e” in deference to tradition. How gracious of them. I’m gonna stick with “whiskey” in the spirit (pun intended) of sticking it to the man.
Scotch whiskey, as the name suggests, must by international law be distilled in Scotland. The law also mandates that the whiskey must age for at least three years. Bourbon is an American whiskey type distinction–it must contain at least 51% corn. Then there is rye whiskey which must contain at least 51% rye (duh). Corn whiskey, like bourbon, is made of corn, but the corn content must exceed 81%. Tennessee whiskey is bourbon that has been filtered through sugar maple charcoal. Jack Daniel’s would be the most notable example here. The Wikipedia page lists other types, but you needn’t bother with those, they’re just more variations on the general theme laid out here.
Now, armed with your newfound knowledge, belly up to your nearest bar and impress the pants off someone of the opposite sex!